bon mots

A compendium of silly and occasionally hilarious malapropisms and grammar gaffes committed by students.

Not even Scrabble?

"Those who are mentally ill should be watched at all times and should not be given any games to play at all."

The infidels!

A student paper on infidelity keeps referring to people who have had affairs as “infidels” - I see where he got confused, but it still makes for hilarious reading.

 

The very next thing observed from the speech given by Mitt Romney is the straw hat fallacy.

Thinking is a pain in my soul; it haunts me even when I slept.

Did you know that Martin Luther King, Jr. wrote “A Letter from Birmingham Jail” while he was “incinerated in Alabama”?  

Think of the children!

“Many couple don’t realize the strain they put on their relationships with their children due to divorce.  Others decide to stay together for the kids sake.  But does that help them or mutilate them?”

Cars are lower to the ground than trucks making visibility in some instances harder to see.

Considering I graded a TON of research papers in the last week, I wish I had more to post.  But most of them made me want to cry, not laugh.  There was very little laughing involved and few, if any, malapropisms.  Mostly just shocking failures of logic.

Ah, well.  I’m grading community college papers today and this weekend, so they may have some gems for me.  Like this wise observation:

"College and high school may trick you into thinking they are very similar.  Yes, in both you would think that you want to do the best you can, but sometimes as teens, people tend to be teens. That is where the differences come in to play.”

(I would weep for our future if I thought this student had put even a little bit of effort into this paper!)

Wish me luck!

The Effects of Molding on Adolescence

Why is molding so harmful to society? Molding is a career like any other, a career that emphasizes looks and status.

*The title to this post was the actual title to one of my student’s research papers.  After a while I realized he was talking about modeling.

I also had a student this semester write a whole paper about VIRGINAL WOOLF.

"baron wasteland"

One of my students wrote this last semester instead of “barren wasteland.”  I think it would be an excellent name for a villain in some kind of gothic romance novel: Baron von Wasteland

So sweet that my student compared his prom date, in her red dress, to a rose.  Course, it was kind of ruined by the fact that he goes on to call her “a nice piece of arm candy” in the very next sentence!